Archive | October 2012

Life lessons

Hello all,

I know these are tough times, so you have to take what you can get as far as work. I know you may hate your boss but remember that it’s easier to get a job when you have a job. So if you don’t like where you’re at make an effort to get a new job. We all complain about our jobs, that’s life. I think it would be great to have a job where you loved every minute of it, but I don’t know anyone who has that job. I admire the people who work 2 or 3 jobs, it has to be tough. However, work is work and we all need money, so we all need to do what we can to make it through life.

So, if you hate your job, look for another one, just don’t quit while you have this job.

When looking, remember to sell yourself. If you’re jumping into something new, be honest and don’t expect a large salary. We all need to prove ourselves first. This may take some time but you have to be willing to try new things and you may screw up, it happens. Just remember if you like doing something, then make an effort to do the best job you can. It will really help you in the long run. I made so many mistakes early in my career that now it looks like I know what I am doing. Sometimes I do but other times I play off of past experiences to make things happen.

I would like to take a leap to the next level, but I am very cautious. I find that it pays to research the next step. I got lucky in the past but I also had a run of bad luck, most of the time luck is what we make it. I mean that if we get lucky, it’s usually because we work hard and did some research ahead of time. This applies to almost any career you’re looking into. If we’re unlucky at work, it’s usually because we jumped into something without researching what it was or looking into it ahead of time. We also have to be honest with others and ourselves. I mean that if we find ourselves in over our head, ask for help, let people know you need it and let your boss know you need it.

Another thing, don’t get too lazy at work. Some of us get really good at what we do and we tend to take it for granted. This is bad for several reasons. First, we look lazy to our counterparts if we are not putting effort into our work, and it looks bad to our supervisors. Second, without a challenge work becomes dull, which makes us unhappy. So try to keep changing or improving what you do. See what will work for you. It will make you a happier person in the long run. This applies to life as well.

So that’s it for this week, just my 2 cents.

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Jobs and working for a living.

Jobs:

Did you ever get laid off? Did you ever change jobs? Did you ever work at one place for too long? Let me tell you something, I did it all. I am one of those guys that would keep a job for about 5 years. The first 20 years of my career this was because there was so much opportunity. I worked my way up to VP and then that company started to sink. So I bailed and got another job as a director. Life was good, right up until I got laid off. Then it was back in the trenches, I had to take a 30% cut in pay. Really rough thing to do! I went through a divorce almost at the same time, so the expenses went way up! Trust me, child support is tougher then debt, they will lock you up if you don’t pay.

So I had to cut back which was easier without a wife. I had to job hop to get better money, not by choice but by necessity so I could stay afloat. Now, I was fortunate because I traveled so work paid for most of my meals and my house was empty whenever I didn’t have the kids. So that was also a downside, I could not spend the time with the kids I used to. Unfortunately money is a big factor when you have an ex-wife yelling about money all of the time. I paid for so much, all my bills plus $20K a year, (I made $65K a year), to the ex-wife for support and other bills for the kids. I did it though, I survived. It taught me that even in your thirties you can live on Ramon noodles. I made it and even managed to put some money into retirement. My ex got almost half of that. She didn’t get half because it was dropping so fast due to the stock market collapsing that she insisted on putting a number in the agreement so she wouldn’t lose out. Well, by the time the divorce was final the market went back up and she got less than half. This really ate at her, she actually called me and asked me to give here more, but this is another story I will tell later. Sorry to digress. So where was I, the working my way back up again.

So I was back in the tranches working my ass off again but it paid off. I was looking good to customers and getting noticed. I was being recruited by customers and they offered me what I asked for, I probably should have asked for more but I didn’t want t appear greedy.

So after all the hard work I got to work my way back into a 6 figure job again. It took a long time and a lot of sacrifice. I enjoy my job now but I know I am worth more and that I can do more. The key thing now is to look for that opportunity. I know I will find it and when I do I will go for it and become a leader again.

Health and looking good

Health:

I am a fan of being healthy. I wasn’t always. I mean I always liked working out, it is the one thing that I have always done, even if only on the weekends. I used to work a lot so the only days I had time was on the weekends. When my kids were small I never worked out. I gained over 35 lbs and looked awful. The cold hard truth is that everyone going through that phase of their life does the same thing. I didn’t have any time other than work and take care of the kids. It was consuming and took every minute of my day. I didn’t eat well at all, when you’re on the go you tend to eat a lot of fast food, and it is so bad for you. You just should eat that way every day if you want to be healthy. I find it amazing that the government has declared war on smoking when the real killer in the USA is fast food. I drank 3 or 4 Mountain Dews a day and probably ate fast food once a day. I was a mess. I realized later that it was causing more harm than good. I had to get back on track.

One thing I can look back on and learn from, you tend to be so involved in your day to day life that you forget about the big picture. I worked so hard that I forgot to have any fun, and it drove me crazy. I spent so much time working not only at work, but on the house, raising my kids, and trying to get ahead with all the other crap in our lives that I never got to relax. When I finally did get time to relax my ex-wife always had something for me to do that I probably should have done long time before. This makes all the health things worse! Trust me; you need to take some time to think about what is going to be a problem and what will help you in the long run. I never looked at the long term goal.

I know what you’re thinking, that I am going to say all fast food or junk food is bad. I think if you enjoy it once in awhile, like a special occasion or when you need something quick, that’s OK. I just think that when it becomes part of your lifestyle, then it’s a problem. You need to look at what you really want from life. I know I write this as if I am talking to someone my own age but someone in their 20s could really benefit. Although I think they have no desire to worry about that because they think they are fine. It won’t be until years later until you need to worry but by then it is too late. So do me a favor and look at your family, parents, aunts, uncles, brothers, and sisters. If they are older, how are they doing? Genetics plays a big part but you have the power to control your health, but you need to focus on your goal, and that goal is health! A healthy lifestyle will benefit you in so many ways.

Now, why should you think about what you eat and working out? I know that you probably think it’s a waste of time, but don’t you want to look good? YES! It gives you something to work for and it gives you motivation. Trust me, when guys work out they have something in common, they talk about it. Many times friends notice. This is your motivation, to look good. Then you can justify eating what you want on the weekends. Make an effort to eat right, at least through the week. That will also show your coworkers that you are making the attempt to be healthy. Many times other guys may make fun of you, but the women will appreciate it. It gives you an edge, it really does. Even at work, chances are that your boss will even think more of you for working out. If you have kids, they know that you’re trying to make yourself a better, healthier person!

So get started, if you can afford it, join a gym, if not then start jogging, it’s free. If you have health issues figure something out, walk, jog, do pushups and sit-ups. Just do something instead of sitting in front of the TV or working all the time. Get busy thinking of you, get a hobby, join a sport, get out and do something! 

Notes from my divorce, one of many.

When I went through my divorce I made so many mistakes, I just didn’t know better. One of the mistakes I made was going through a mediator that was really my ex-wife’s lawyer. I have to tell you this cost me dearly. I didn’t realize it was a mistake until about a year later when I was nearly broke. However, with that said, now I am fine, but at the time I thought I was doing the right thing with child support. Let me tell you, you need to think of the quality of like for you and your children. It is hard when you are forced to work long hours to keep a roof over your head. I worked long and hard and saved next to nothing.

My ex-wife didn’t care, she was getting a nice check every month. She moved on and found a guy that made 6 times what I made, yet I was paying all the bills for the kids as well as a blanket check every month. Please, be careful when you go through this. If you live in a state that has preset child support percentages, just go with that, you may be better off. At least look into it to see what the difference is if you settle in court or out of court. I trusted my ex because I thought she would be fair, look how wrong you can be. She never cared about being fair; it was all about what she could get with the least amount of effort.

Now it doesn’t matter, but I didn’t have any money saved up to help the kids with college, and that became a court battle because in the agreement I agreed to help with college, when I went back to court it meant that I would give all I could afford. The ironic thing was that I didn’t pay much more than I did for support, so it really didn’t hit me too hard. At this time I was making much more than I did after I got divorced so it was ironic that it didn’t go up much. However, I wasn’t allowed to five any of it to the kids because in the agreement it was written such that my ex would get all the money. Boy, I was stupid!

I am telling you this because in my life I have been penny wise and dollar dumb. You need to take the time and make an effort to understand what your options are. When your ex says you are hurting the children, it’s just not true. Remember that your quality of life is dependent you your personal success. When you have someone else defining what you can or can’t afford, it’s not a good thing. My ex never cared about my well being or what the kids thought of me even though she constantly told me she did, it was all a lie. It just took me a long time to realize it.

Now, with all of that said, it is almost all behind me. I have learned from it and I survived financially. I am actually pulling ahead a bit. I only tell you this so you think before you make an emotional decision like I did.

Hello to no one!

Hello to no one,

Since this is so new I figure I am just sharing my notes with myself. I just want to write down some of my life situations and if someone out there appreciates then, great. If not it is therapeutic.

I often think back about what I have done. I have made many mistakes. One of them is not keeping in touch with friends the way I should have. I think I worked too many hours when I should have been home, but then my ex wife had expensive tastes. She never understood the hard work is where it came from. Before that marriage I didn’t work hard at all, I followed the path that I think most people follow, just not most successful people.

So this is good for the first day, I am still learning about blogging. I read them all the time but I am new at sharing anything, personally or otherwise. I’ll start working on that.

 

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