Archive | December 2012

New Year promises.

I love the New Year holiday because we make so many promises and it fills us with hope. I hate it because if we break our promises we feel down and fill with regret. We need to keep our eye on the ball! If we can be thankful for something first, then it may be easier to make a promise to ourselves because we can maintain focus on what we really want. Being thankful may be hard sometimes and it does take some work because we have to maintain that one good thought, like Peter Pan had to do to fly, that one though will be enough to help us remember other great memories and perhaps help us look forward to great new memories.

Did you ever find it so hard to be thankful for anything? Sometimes we get so caught up in all the bad things in our lives that we find it hard to be thankful for what we have. It happens to everyone. It is hard to stay focused on the good when we take it for granted. We want to focus on the problems because we think we can fix them. It’s easy to do. In fact, it seems we are programmed to do it. Our minds are problem solvers. Our mind is working on what we perceive as problems in today’s world. So it will concentrate on our failures or missed opportunities in an effort to repair what is wrong. We have to learn to accept some things that are in the past. It sounds so easy but for some of us it can be hard.

So when you get stuck in this loop, try to think of something in your life that is really good. Any memory you have that makes you smile. It can be anything, maybe something someone said to you once, something your mom or dad said that made you feel special, or your first kiss, anything that will make you feel good, or like a winner, or special. Think about it then hold on to that memory for about 30 seconds. Do you feel better? It doesn’t change the present but it may help you to start thinking strait, something to get your mind off of the problem and perhaps look at this thing from a new angle. You can now accept the past, for there is good and bad. Now you can remember a good memory and move on. Start to think about what you can do, what you can change, then work on the plan. If something bad happened, think about how that thought can motivate you to do something good for your future, but remember this is the present so make a plan and get started.

If you have an idea of what you need to do, or what you want to do then start looking into what you want to do and make a plan. It doesn’t have to be a firm plan, just something that you can move ahead with. Google is a great tool for something like this, so look it up and see what needs to be done and then figure out if you can do it or if it’s something you want to do.

Do you feel better now? Maybe this is something that can give you a sense of purpose. Now you have something to look forward to, now you can really be happy about something that may happen. Remember to stick with it and keep on it. If you lose interest, then try to think of something new, keep your motivation. It could be that you have a moving target, so try to keep the eye on the ball and move forward. Good luck my friends!

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A small bit of kindness can help yourself as much as others

Well, we survived the end of the Mayan long count calendar, and here we are. I know most of you plan to continue with life as normal but let’s think what would the Mayans do? They would celebrate a new beginning, not the end. So, if you can think about what is good in your life, then build on that.

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We all have been down at some point, but things usually have a way of working out for the best. Keep your eye on the ball, keep remembering what you have that is good in your life and then think about how to make it better. I think one thing that most of us do is be grateful for what we have, which is good, but then think about how we could make things better. That is something we can work on and something that could motivate us to make our lives better. It doesn’t have to be world-changing, just something nice for someone.

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Remember, this is the time for the holidays so I am going to give you a few examples of what I have done. We can do something nice for friend, and it doesn’t mean we have to buy something if you don’t have the money. I make an effort to visit some friends that may be surprised to see you or call someone who you think might be down this holiday season. It’s cheap and easy and something that will mean a lot to someone. I take the time to write a special message in Christmas cards to some people because they seem to really appreciate it. It takes time but I think that people remember the small kind things that we do, like being courteous to people in public. That really can help make someone’s day. I think we can really help people by just being nice to people, friends or strangers.

So, just try to put someone else ahead of you, most people will appreciate it and they will likely pass it on to the next person, like a wave in the water, kindness is something that can move forward even though you may never know it. Most times, it won’t cost a thing but a moment of your time and being present in that particular moment.

One more thing, be thankful for what you have. I know we like to look at the holiday and get the “give me’s” but it’s more important to be thankful for what you have. Sometimes, if you had a bad year, it can be very hard. Just make an effort to focus on something good this year and build on it. That is a step in the right direction and something that can be done with little effort.

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Regrets

Did you ever get rejected? It is an awful feeling. I think back and sometimes I remember the big rejections. It’s funny but this may or may not lead to regrets. Some of my biggest regrets are not the rejections, but the things I should have known to reject. Regret is something that can really eat at you. However, it seems like most people regret personal things, not work related things. What I mean by that is that is most people remember not getting a job, but that doesn’t really bother them because in the long run they think it works out for the best. Also, most people don’t seem to regret things that happened to them, because they are able to look back and laugh at most things. There are exceptions but most events in our lives can be laughed at or we learn from them.

So being rejected can lead to regrets, but at least we gave it a shot. As long as we learn from it and don’t obsess over it we are OK. What about the things we didn’t do? I have to tell you these are the biggest regrets because we don’t know what would have happened. I think back to the things I didn’t do, or the people I didn’t make an effort to help or the girls I didn’t ask out. How stupid I was not to at least to have tried to meet them. What was I thinking? Sometimes I was so busy with something else and didn’t realize I had the opportunity of a lifetime right in front of me. It doesn’t matter now, but life is full of missed opportunity, I still miss things today just because I was not aware of the situation at the time.

So if you really want something, I think you will have to make an effort and don’t give up if you think it will lead to regret. This is something that most people will reflect on, in a bad way. As you get older you really do gain some wisdom, but you also have some realization that you actually did steer your life in a particular direction. Some people feel bad for what they have done to others, but most just look at missed opportunity. You are the architect of your life and you have the opportunity to make changes, even now. I know this is easy to say but really hard to do because when you make a change it could affect so many others. So here is another decision, how far to go and what to do and what’s the outcome? It’s hard to get started and it’s hard to stay the course. So make a plan and think things through. Then think of how much you want change, start to gauge your determination, then make a decision. One way or the other, you are starting to take control.

Wade's Notes

Hello all,

I know these are tough times, so you have to take what you can get as far as work. I know you may hate your boss but remember that it’s easier to get a job when you have a job. So if you don’t like where you’re at make an effort to get a new job. We all complain about our jobs, that’s life. I think it would be great to have a job where you loved every minute of it, but I don’t know anyone who has that job. I admire the people who work 2 or 3 jobs, it has to be tough. However, work is work and we all need money, so we all need to do what we can to make it through life.

So, if you hate your job, look for another one, just don’t quit while you have this job.

When looking…

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Positive thoughts, goals, and other people.

I know this is something that everyone tells you. It may seem hard to do all the time but if you can just keep your goal in mind and know you can do it, then you should be happier than just thinking about what could have been. I believe that most people obsess over what could have been. It’s hard not to think of the past and think what we could have done differently. I sink into that trap more often than I would like to, it seems like the brain will take us there. I now know I need to accept what happened and learn from it. That is the key, what’s done is done, good or bad, we can’t go back and change it but we can learn from it and get a lesson learned. That is the key and the goal we need to focus on.
Many people think about what other people have done to them in the past, how they’ve been wronged, like a sad sack. We need to understand one thing, it’s done and chances are that other person may or may not care what was done to you. We all like to think that the other person feels bad, but in the real world they really don’t care, in fact, most people think that they got one over on somebody. Let me tell you something, things work out for the best even though you don’t feel that way for a long time. Do you really want to be with someone, friend or lover, if they screwed you over. I don’t and I look at it this way, I am better off this way. Some things were meant to be and we must wait and see what they are. I am not saying you shouldn’t give some people a second chance but you have to listen to your inner voice and maybe a friend or two. In the end you have the final say who you let into your life and who you knock out of your life.
So, with all of that said, what’s it going to be? Do you want to concentrate on the past and the bad things that happened to you or can you look ahead to the goal that you set for yourself. Even if that goal is to be happy or doing something you really like. It’s easy to think positive, but it’s hard to stay positive when you don’t concentrate on the good things. Remember, life goes on no matter what, that is the one constant in life, it goes on until you die. So you can concentrate on your life or you can concentrate on that moment you die. I prefer to think of all the things I plan to do and the journey there, I enjoy that and it makes me feel good. What makes you feel good?

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