I am not sure how many of you have had to deal with the loss of a loved one. When my father died we had lost a loved one, but it was final and expected. This is something that happens in life and whether you like it or not it happens. However, what about when you lose someone to dementia or Alzheimer’s? Did you ever lose someone who was in front of you? I think many people have in different ways but I lost my mother to dementia. It is very hard to see this disease progress.
My mother has dementia. Let me tell you something, it’s not pleasant or in any way nice. I hear stories how some people just go back in time, which is in the early stages. As the disease progresses you lose the cuteness of it and you see a shell of a person. It is a loss of someone while they are right in front of you. God bless my sisters because they visit my mother more often than me. They are closer and they make an effort to see her. It is hard to visit mom. She just has no idea who any of us are. It makes here irritable and irrational. Granted there are good days and bad, but as it goes on the bad days start to outweigh the good. She is not the person I knew, and I feel that I suffered a loss. I know that seems selfish but this is something that you never count on. My mother was strong-willed and the backbone of the family. I love her now as I always have but when I see her I just feel pity for her. This makes me feel bad for several reasons. One is because she would not want that. She would want me to feel compassion but not pity. I just can’t help it. Maybe this is wrong, but let me ask you, how would you feel?
So if you experienced this loss of someone who could be in front of you, you are not alone. I miss my mother and I know that this is not her. I will always remember her for what she was, (is), to the family, a pillar of strength and integrity. I would like you to hold on to the good memories while you are facing that person, just because they are not present doesn’t mean you should hold back your love.
When I look at the old pictures and read my parents old letters, it makes me feel good, realizing that they both lead a full and exciting life. It helps me realize that they had a life prior to mine. They made my life grand and they built up their life before me and after I left home. They lived a wonderful life, from my perspective. I know dad felt that way before he passed. I am pretty sure mom felt that way before dementia. This is why I look back, to appreciate the good times as well as learn from the bad. It makes me appreciate the present.
Love Letters Between My Parents Book 1 http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HGIOFKA
Love Letters Between My Parents Book 2 http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HI56JV4
I thought I would do something different and share some older pictures we had at the house. Most of these are older relatives. I thought the pictures may interest some of you. I have many more on my Wade Sarver Facebook page.
I wanted to post a letter from dad to mom. This is the last letter I had from dad to mom. I thought you might enjoy this. It is in the second book found at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HI56JV4. Let me know if you like this on twitter, my handle is @ParentsLuvLttrs. Tell me if you like this by entering #DadsLetter1944 in your tweet.
As you can see Dad was quite the romantic. He starts out, “Dearest Sweetheart, I’ll bet you’re surprised to get a letter from me already. I don’t have very much to say but I thought you would write anyway and tell you I love you.” What a guy! You can’t help and miss the guy when you read that!
Remember to find me or the books at these locations;
Me with my mom.
Dad at my sister’s wedding.
Now available on Kindle!
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Merry Christmas! I hope you all are having a great holiday! Please enjoy it and be safe.
So I worked and finished this. I have both books out on Kindle now, book 2 is at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HI56JV4.
I put together 2 sets of love letters, this one includes letter from when they were dating and after they got married. Mom has letters in there that go to right after the wedding. Apparently they both went back to work the week after the marriage. Mom writes about how everyone at work came up to congratulate her on her new husband. She also talks about how she feels she should keep working to provide income so they could eventually get a place of their own. She agreed to live with dad’s parents until they could make this happen. It’s all in there.
I hope you enjoy it.