Thankful for the time together
Did you ever go into a bad situation and think about how to be thankful? I have to tell you I went to visit my mother the other day and it was all I could do. For those of you that don’t know she has dementia and it is in the late stages. She had no idea who I was. She is wheelchair confined because she can’t get up and she is mentally lost. She is around 90 years old, and it is hard to visit her this way. I stayed for over an hour but let me tell you it wasn’t easy.
She is just not aware of what is going on but she wasn’t very talkative. It is hard on days like this. It makes you want to run away. She did let me hold her hand which was nice. There was no conversation. She could not even comprehend what I was talking about. She looked at me like I was a complete stranger. One thing I learned to do was bring up the past, old relatives who were long since dead, but even this did not work. She was completely oblivious to that and didn’t seem to know anything I was talking about.
The one thing that helped me through the time with her was the fact I remember what she was like and all the good times we had together. It sounds crazy but I still can sit with her and think of what she was like when I was young. I can remember all the advice she gave me when I would be growing up. I still how she would cook for us and what Sunday afternoons were like. She would often make fried chicken on Sundays for lunch. She would make sure we had plenty to eat. I was able to look at her and appreciate the past, the woman I remember.
You may think this is trivial but at some point of your life this will be a cherished memory. I really am grateful for all the memories that I have. I know she lost her memories but I still have mine so I thank God every day for them.
One thing mom did while she was younger was write things down in a diary and keep them. She saved all those old letters she received. Some of them I don’t understand but the others mean so much to me. I am glad that I have those memories and that I was able to keep them.
Pictures are a great thing as well. It lets me look back on her life and see how they lived before I was born, so interesting. I get to see the woman she was and the woman I remember. I can’t change the present but I can cherish the past.
Thank you for listening and please, take some time to learn about dementia, especially if you know someone who has it.
I am thankful for the time I had with her, no regrets! If we can think this way and appreciate people for who they are, then we are doing something right!